Why can’t Jesus do to me as He did to Saul? Flash a bright light! Make me fall! Speak to me audibly, tell me once and for all: "Yes, I am indeed calling you to My Priesthood!”
Saul’s call to conversion, as we read in Acts 9, is indeed filled with extraordinary, astonishing events. That’s what I wanted. Yet, as I went through High School, college, the workplace, my ‘Saul-moment’ never seemed to come. What kept coming up was this relentless question: Could it be that I am called to the priesthood?
For too long my answer was a list of questions: How can I be certain Jesus is calling? What is this “calling” supposed to look like anyway? What if this relentless question is my way of escaping disappointments? Can I be happy as a priest? How do I even go about this?
Eventually, I had to find out. It wasn’t until I reached out, was accepted and began formal discernment, that I began to see how the relentless question was not my own, but Christ giving me a chance to give everything I am to Him through His Priesthood.
A relentless, constant question…that was my ‘Saul-moment’.
- Fr. Jaime G. Maldonado